I’m not sure if anyone still follows my blog or not but I thought it was about time to post an update.
After our last negative IVF cycle, our physician recommended that that we consider other options, donor eggs, donor sperm, donor embryos, etc. or we could do our last cycle with my eggs and his sperm and see how it went. After weighing our options, we decided that we would go with our own embryos and if it didn’t work, we would move on. In June 2013, when we both agreed we were finally mentally ready to do another round, John and I were in the car and I looked at him and said “I really don’t want to do this”, he responded with “I don’t either” and it was decided at that point, we would move on. We both agreed that we had done everything we possibly could to be successful, and that it was not meant to be.
Adoption was the path we decided to take…
We knew our first step would be to a home study and in October 2013, we contacted a local social worker. After 3 visits, our home study was complete in December 2013. Our social worker was amazing and the process was painless. After receiving some recommendations and doing our own research, we decided on an agency and our profile was activated January 17, 2014. The agency is in constant contact until you are activated at which point they tell you that you will not hear from them until you are matched with a birth mother. This is their policy because they don’t want to constantly tell you that you are being considered, get your hopes up, only to not be chosen. The agency also tells you to continue on with your normal lives, work, travel, etc., so we did and it certainly helped to keep our minds off of the fact that at any point we could be chosen by a birth mom.
On Sunday, February 9, 2014, John and I received an email asking if we would be willing to have our profile shown to a birth mom. Because the child was older (5 months old), this was considered a special situation because our agency specializes in newborn adoptions. We were given all medical records on the birth mom and child to review prior to making a decision. After reading through everything, we decided we wanted our profile shown. The next day, when we didn’t hear anything, we assumed that another family had been chosen and tried to put it out of our minds.
On Tuesday, February 11, 2014, I was at work and went to lunch with a good friend. She and I were talking about the number of co-workers we had out on FMLA and I commented that I could go out at any point also because when the agency calls, you usually have to travel pretty quickly. Around 1:30, I had a missed call on my phone from a number that I knew was the agency. I immediately called back only to find out she was already on the phone with John. She conference us together and gave us the news that changed our lives forever, the birth mom had chosen us and we needed to travel immediately. When I got home from work that night, John had already taken our dogs for boarding and was on his way to get our rental car. I got us packed and at 11:30pm, we left for the birth mom’s home state. Our meeting was the next day at noon and if we didn’t travel that night, we wouldn’t make it out of North Carolina because of the impending weather. We arrived around 5am and attempted to sleep…I don’t think either of us slept at all.
At 12:00 on February 12, 2014, I met the second love of my life. Other than the day I married John, it was the best day of my life. I will never forget the moment I saw her beautiful face and she smiled at me. The birth parents were both there to meet us and introduce us to our sweet girl. They are two of the most amazing, selfless people I have ever met in my life and I truly believe we were all meant to be a part of one another’s lives. We all have a common goal, and that is to provide the best life possible for this little girl. We got to spend time getting to know one another and then we all signed the papers. At 1:45 that day, she was ours. The birth parents have a 7 day revocation period and because the adoption is taking place in another state, we had to stay in that state until the ICPC paperwork was completed. We were fortunate enough that my Mom was nearby for work and her flight home had been cancelled so she was able to spend the next 48 hours with us getting to know her granddaughter.
We spent the next few days holding our breath, hoping and praying that the birth parents wouldn’t change their minds. On Saturday February 15, we were able to take the birth parents to dinner. We had a great time getting to know them better and were reassured that they were not going to change their minds. The next day, Sunday, both of our families travelled to see us and meet our sweet girl. Every single one of them immediately fell in love!
We spent the next three days getting to know our girl better, and just enjoying our time as a family. On Wednesday February 19, the revocation period was up, we got the phone call that the ICPC paperwork had been approved and we were able to travel home. We arrived home to a house full of baby gear and were able to spend our first night at home as a family of 3. This is what we have been waiting so long for and I truly believe that adoption is the path we were meant to take the entire time. John and I can honestly say that we did everything we could to have a biological child, but this little girl is the child that God intended for us the entire time and she was worth waiting for. Our family is finally complete and we are so in love with this sweet girl.